Original article posted by Greg:
Today, Slobodan Milosevic drove up to Applebees on a motorcycle. We didn’t know it was Mr. Milosevic at the time, or else maybe we would have turned him away. You know, like our own little way of getting revenge for all those poor little dead ethnic Albanians.
“And serves you right for all those ethnic cleansings! What did they ever do to you, I’d like to know.”
Work was once again unusually busy for this time of year. Like last night, we became busy just before closing time which kept everybody at work cleaning up until about 1AM. That’s too bad, not only because nobody wants to be at work for that long, but also because it means tomorrow I will probably not get out of work as early as I would prefer. I mention this, not because it’s pertinant to the story, but because I like attention.
Slobodan came in at about 15 minutes before closing time. Which goes to show that Genocidal Madmen are also inconsiderate of workers who want to go home early. I believe he had the Cowboy Burger and a side of cole slaw. Perhaps there’s meaning to be had in that. His server, John, took the credit card offered by the man whose name we had not yet learned and brought it to the credit card machine. As is John’s habit, he looked at the name.
Then John asked me, “Does that name look familliar to you?” I had to admit that it did right away. It’s not often I don’t recognize the names of infamous men suspected of crimes against humanity who have been bombed by the USA and NATO in 1998 and then sent to the Hague while awaiting trial. I thought, It must be a fake card. The back said “SEE ID” so I sent John to check his ID.
Slobodan displayed his Iowa drivers license. One of the people sitting with him for dinner said “Oh, hey, aren’t you that guy from the Hague?”
Can you imagine being this guy and trying to get a passport or something?
Well, all of us co-workers made photocopies of the credit reciept so we could show our families and friends that Slobodan Milosevic came in to Applebees. And the punchline of the story is this:
Who knew a genocidal madman would be a 20% tipper?
Re: An Encounter with a Genocidal Madman
Most madmen are wont to leave large tips out of a jilted need for karmic retribution to visit one of their buddies first.