Original article posted by ravenpaine:

Journal of a Night

Entry 13 – January 13, 2004

The day was long. The day was tedious. The day include me getting things done that needed to be done. The day included me learning a lesson that I should have seen coming but instead discovered through the massive hail of shit that came at me from mine own hand. There are moments where I think that not only are thre gods laughing at me but some of them are collecting good money on a sure thing while others are ripping up their claim tickets and calling in hit men to fix the next race at all costs.

Before I delve into too much useless hyperbole (okay, it has a use but not one that I find completely necessary) I should tell you exactly what happened. I skipped class (first day of poetry something or another) to talk to Jordan whom I’ve been having a thing for recently. It went poorly. We talked, she brought up the fact that she dated Andy Burt for awhile in the summer of 2002. I took this hard as I detest Andy Burt and all of the problems he caused me through no real or apparent effort other than being someone that I didn’t like much as a writer because he claimed to be done with pieces and think they were great when he had barely started. Maybe I was pissed at his arrogance and maybe I was pissed at his optimism but the important thing is that he didn’t do antything to me and I ruined four relationships and a year of my life because I couldn’t get over exaclty how much I disliked him.

You think I would have learned by now.

Today’s event reminded me not just of that but other things as the conversation with Jordan continued and I had the misfortune of talking to several other people that she was associated with that I had opinions on that were less than flattering. She and her associates talked about what they did over the break and what they did on their missions and who knew who in the overall churchy world of theirs. I took this, incorrectly, as a definitive and malicious attack on my less than pristine lifestyle and basic lack of good wholesome values. I freaked out. I fled. I sat somewhere far away and brooded.

I brooded for roughly ten minutes before deciding the entire event didn’t matter and went about my day as normal.

I went to class, more on those as they develop, and then headed home. I got into five conversations on my way home. The first was with Jeremy Jones who is at SUU for some reason. The second was with Jeremy who married Davey about writing. The third was with Crystal who had to return a book. The fourth was with Dana who made fun of my clothes but not in a particualrly mean fashion. The fifth was with Broccoli as I desperately attempted to escape.

Then I ran into Jordan again outside of campus. We talked for awhile more. I felt stupid. Like one of those times where I talk too much about myself and then I don’t get anywhere useful except to remind myself that I’m better at life than I give myself credit for and the only problems I ever have are ones that I create for myself, apparently to occupy my time.

I finally get home at 5 pm. I left my last class at 2:30 pm. Rowsdower took me to dinner and one large steak later I’m nearly falling asleep in my front room.

I play Castlevania: Lament of Innocence and FF X-2. I get tired, I come here.

Tomorrow I face the courts and plead for it wasn’t really my fault and I think the whole thing should be dropped. I sense an agonizing amount of paperwork in my near future.

Still, it could have been worse. I could have held a grudge all day instead of for ten minutes.

(Editors note, strike everything above this line for the sake of audience. Where was the funny? Where was the wit? Where was the reason to read on?)

Rodney TGAP
Bonne nuit, bonne nuit to you all.