Original article posted by ravenpaine:

I have a complaint. It’s about my mother. Me madre. Mai mere.

Don’t get me wrong, the woman tries to be a loving and caring individual. The sort of person who does what she can to help others and make life a little bit better for all parties.

Except for me. Her eternal opinion on me is that I don’t try hard enough to be happy. My obvious lack of faith in God the Father leads to my unhappiness. If I was a good son I would pray to have a positive attitude and follow the teachings of Jesus.

This is my first observation of my mother. Faith, to her is an important thing, and it should be. Faith is important. Mother tends to miss large portions of the whole faith and love and forgiveness Jesus thing. Mom has on too many occasions declared people unfit to help and cut them off to solve their problems alone without support because they refuse to accept her view of Jesus.
I don’t want to yell the term HYPOCRITE into the night air, but I think that I will.

Mom doesn’t want to live and let live. Without knowing it she has condemned everyone who is not her and adopted all the nastier tendencies and obnoxious prophelitizing of the religions she cannot stand. I’d point this irony out to her but I doubt that it would have much of an effect.

Observation number 2. Money. My mother assumes that if I would just get and work a job every day for the rest of my life I wouldn’t have any money problems. My mother and father have worked nearly everyday of their lives (something like 30 years for dad and 20 for mom) and they are still in large amounts of debt. So much debt that they cannot seem to send the occasional bit of money my way to help me, on the few occasions that I ask for it. I’ve had court fees and dilemma’s and bad times and occasional bizarre crisis that a quick hundred bucks would solve. But they don’t have it. Oh yes, they have supplied me with some money. Last I checked they had donated $4,500 to my college funds. Like many parents they promised they would pay half. While I can not hold them to that sort of thing I could expect at least 1/4th couldn’t I? Not counting the Bradley year of which they paid $3,000 and I paid $18,000 I have spent six years at SUU which has cost me roughly $1,400 a semester for a total of $16,800 which they have given me maybe $2,000 for.

My intent in mentioning this is not to guilt them into giving me money, I’ll be fine, it is simply to point out that they have lived up to less than half of their half deal and still find it necessary to tell me in unfriendly, hell, in outright hostile terms that I should have done blah blah blah and I wouldn’t have the debt that I do.

Well yeah, but if you had lived up to your end of the $35,000 I’ve paid for college (I’m not mentioning housing and books because I’m being really nice here), the something close to $17,000 instead of the MAYBE $5,000 AT MOST then I wouldn’t have $6,000 in outstanding debt. In fact I would be $6,000 ahead and could take trips to London and China like I want to. But I’m not complaining, I’m proud of the life I have lived and the fact that I earned what I have earned. I just want someone, you know, like my parents, to aknowledge that given what I have to work with I do a fan-fucking-tastic job.

I don’t (exactly) want them to give me money, I want them to sympathize that things are tough but it will get better. I don’t want to be told that I’m a lazy degenerate fuck up who should have taken care of his problems like a big boy and that if only I was a religous zealout I would have a much better time of it all.

I want them to share in my joy, when I call and say things are going well in my life or I tell them that I got a story published, or that I have a website where they can read the adventures of their son I want them to say “Yeah, that’s our kid. Wow, that’s a lot of stuff he accomplishes, good job.” But no I have to get things like, “When are you going to stop playing around and get a job and get right with god and do something with yourself.”

Which is my third and final observation, parents should provide what support they can for their children. I’m just sorry that my parents cannot seem to provide support on any front.

As I’ve mentioned several times here, my intention in writing this is not to say that I have bad parents. It is not to chastise these people. It is to slap them in the face and say “Hey! Shut up and listen. Do your job. I’m not blaming you for my problems so there is no point in blaming me for my problems either.”

I call home to let the people who supposedly care about me know what is going on and too often I’m told that everything is my fault and I would be better off blah blah blah.

I could just never speak to them again, and I have tried that approach on occasion. But despite the fact that they suck at nearly everything and dissapoint me constantly I will always stand by my parents and give what aide I can.

Now if only that were a two way street….

Rodney TGAP
mass hysteria placebo