Original article posted by ravenpaine:

First and foremost, if I was God I would create the universe and promptly set about writing a list of incredible prophecies to introduce my favorite NPCs (non-player characters). Every 100 or so years a new hero of fabulous potential and limitless power would arrise to help make things right again.

On many of these occasions I would play the part of the NPC. I would lock away portions of my personality and memories and powers (to make it fair) and then I would seal myself in an ice cavern only to be discovered in a time of dire need by a group of young children who hope to save the world and took the time to find my hidden resting place as dictated by prophecy.

They would arrive and awaken me and I, bleary eyed and yet awe inspiring with sword in hand and outlandish accent and the perfect amount of scruffy countenance, would ask, “What kind of technology does this age have?”

They would reply, “Blah, blah, blah.” Which I would translate to mean, feudal, like France circa 1320. And I would say, “Ah, of course. Come this way. Put those on.”

And I would direct the children to put on outlandish gear of outstanding power.

Then I would get the Ben Bike. A motorcylce of steampunk origin that would rumble like thunder and drive like the very wind itself. The childern would ask, “Is that a horse of some kind?”

And I would reply in my best Australian Biker voice, “Yeah, something like that. Let’s ride.” And then I would gun the engine and ride out of the cave to take on tyranny in all of its forms and leave with a lesson taught and more evil waiting to uprise in the wings because the number 2 thing I would do as God is always return in the sequel.

The Third thing I would do as God is assign angels to actually wander around appearing and fulfilling their functions. Each would have a word and each would appear to do their job when their job needed doing.

My universe wouldn’t be easy to live in. Many of the same things would happen there as they do here, but in my universe you could always stand up and declare, ‘This isn’t working and I’m not going to take it anymore!” And then storm off into the night and get your crew together and take action. And it would work. That’s the important part.

Fourth, as God I would wander the earth as a great and sage like wanderer always helping in subtle ways to steer the course. I would give up the majority of my powers and maintain only three things while on earth: the ability to resume my full power if necessary, unaging immortality (meaning I could be killed and feel pain, but in the former case I would rever according to clause one), and the right of stat swap. Yes, I would roll up a character or build a character (depending on the wanderer) and go to earth to live that life. In times of great need I could always switch out some points here and there to take care of the situation but only a little cheating would be necessary to help out the mortals.

Finally, fifth and most important, in my universe all religions that proclaim that they are the only true way would be plauged by a certain set of increasing prophesied plagues until they learned to knock it off and get along. Judge not lest ye be judged, do unto others, turn the other cheek, and an eye for an eye, would be read properly to mean: If you are going to go out and do something be prepared to accept consequences. Everyone would live the line that prince Ashitaka delivers in Princess Mononoke, “I was prepared the moment I knocked my arrow.” In my universe personal responsibility would be the foremost of virtues and redemption and love would be for everyone.

None of this you made a mistake and now it is all over crap.

That’s what I would do? How about you?

Rodney TGAP
not holier than thou, but probably more willing to suffer for his errors than thou

Orginal comments:


Nickname: gandhi2
what i would do if i was god.
i’d be lawful neutral.
i’d never contradict myself. paradoxes are for philosophers to create and puzzle over.
i’d give others the chance to become gods. recursion rocks.
i’d make fantastical creatures that had no real purpose besides begging the question thereof.
i’d never create questions that didn’t have answers.
i wouldn’t be a heavy-handed GM.
i’d watch, no matter how much i just wanted to show them all how its done.
i’d make the answer to the ultimate question visible in life. no offense intended to the number 42, cavemen playing scrabble, or the late, great douglas adams.
i’d type without capitalization(most of the time) and nobody could say anything about it.. 😛
every couple millenia, something marvelous would happen that would give people somewhat of an understanding of just how cool it is to be alive.
there would be things worth questing for and ideals worth dying for.
there’d be NO SUCH THING as eternal damnation, and hell would be self-created.
truth would be a constant.
i’d STILL play video games, and, hey, i’d understand japanese!

this list is longer….i’ll stop now though.


Nickname: SmokyWolf
Re: What I would do if I was God
Y’know, the first thing I’d do as God is find out what “rules” there are to the cosmos and then go about destroying as many as I could. Those who chose to worship me on the worlds I created (and who wouldn’t want to worship me?) would realize that living a life for rules is a waste of the life I gave them. IF they started in with the whole “lets make rules to show how pious we are” I’d either zap them myself or send down an angel with a flaming sword to chop some heads. As a God I would color outside the lines. Maybe I’d just erase the lines themselves. I could definately go for spending some time as a hero in my own creations. I’m going to use that one myself, because hey as a God you can’t get after me if I “borrow” a little or I’ll smite thee on your impertinent little ass.

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