Original article posted by ravenpaine:

Entry 36
March 9, 2004

Malevoleance to everyone. Not for any personal reason but I assume that you had a hand in this an when I find out what it was I will make you pay.

Sure, i got up at 2 pm today. And sure I went outside and practiced various dead fighting arts in the backyard which frightened the mother of the two children next door, but I really didn’t mean any harm.

I saw a fine film. There was heart, there was action, there was a moral that will be lost on the entirety (nearly) of modern society.

I burned some rice, which wasn’t particularly a good moment in my day but rice cookers are fallable when broken by crazed buff roommates who steal your cups and forks and hit things much to hard. I never really liked Brandon.

But the menus are the things that are getting to me.

Like here, at the site, some times things just inexplicably do not function. Which is sad, but they normally work the next time you try them, and oddness of oddness I have not yet seen any of these problems. They happen to others.

Which would be an okay sort of thing. No sweat for me, I’m sorry for everyone elses inconvienence but, eh. This attitude changes when I am surreptitously blamed for such things. Scathing, half veiled, fuck you you horrible person comments seem to leap out of people and strike me in the chest.

Perhaps I’m just a reactionary.

Which brings me to the point about the gaming. I’m getting sort of fed up and angry at the gaming. 4 player hack and slash with no GM makes no sense to me. Everyone is always squabbling over the loot and the experience and Junpei will not stop taking an extra three mintues per trip looking vacantly into his menu for some reason that has yet to materialize for me.

I’m a compulsive sort of person. I check my menu after nearly every battle in some games. Strategy games have me rereading nearly every rule about how a unit functions inbetween turns just to see that my plan will work. So I understand that you just need to check that thing one more time. But this? I don’t know. It seems like he just likes looking at it. Not really seeking information, just looking around and being in awe.

Or so I suppose, I really don’t know. I’m tired and I just had to post and reread and check and fix the formatting on Greg letters and I keep hearing expressions in the back of my mind that make me want to retch. I don’t tend to care that the Church is true! Not because I’m not willing to accept that as a theoretical premise but because it is a combination of words that I have heard often enough to know that they are usually said on automatic.

That and its a self-fulfilling yes man kind of statement. In Islam it is customary to pray five times a day and from the day a child is born they have the statement “Allah is God and Muhammed is his prophet” whispered in their ears five times a day. I’m not exactly saying that people are being brainwashed, but there is at least some deliacte rinse cycle being employed for good measure.

I’m going to go now, I need to sleep and stop wishing to shove me fist through the next person I see. I seem to be in a state of vicious anger conjured by three things and only actually necessary in one of them. Everything will be sorted out, I just sort of think that others should be as apologetic about their actions as I am when my wrongdoings are uncovered.

Rodney TGAP
Bonne nuit, bonne nuit to you all.