Original article posted by Stephanie:
Two weeks ago tonight my boyfriend said it was over. Since then I’ve gone through more emotions than I knew I could feel. At first it was just overwhelming pain all the time. Then I would get bits of irrational hope in there, and crazy plans would form in my head. Sometimes I felt anger and indignition. And sometimes I would feel so lost and depressed I couldn’t move.
Now I pretty much have 3 emotions/mindsets that I go through, in referrence to him. The first is this peace, that he was right to break up with me, that I’m ok and everything will work out. It’s actually kind of a bittersweet thing, as I promised to love him forever, and that’s moving away from that.
Two is the idea that he loves me, he always has, and if we just talk we can work it out. I try to email him, text him, IM him, to get him to talk to me. I concoct a plan to fly back and surprise him and have a heart to heart. Which always leads to dreams of a romantic reunion.
Then reality hits, that he’s not talking to me, he doesn’t answer 75% of the time, and he’s treating me horribly. So I get mad. I feel like he’s treating me so badly after all we’ve been through together. I say ‘f you’ a whole lot and consider emailing him and saying ‘screw you, you’re a jerk’.
And then go back to the beginning. It’s a vicious cycle, one that I’m not sure how to get out of. At the moment I’m on number two, but with a bit of sadness in my heart. Not 3 hours ago I was on number one.
So yeah, I’m psycho. Welcome to my world.
My advice is to leave him alone for a while.
It scares the hell out of a guy when I girl keeps writing him and what not. No offence or anything but thats just the way it is. Give him some time and he will open up or he will not.
i can only say that i know how that feels.
and what is really sad is that i never stop loving men i have loved.
there are still parts of me that remember, and long for
the way he looked when he was drawing
the way his hands felt on my neck
i don’t think i would continue writing to him. maybe write/call in a few months-to say hi- if you still really want him in your life. give him space, give yourself space.
go for a walk.
dream of spring rains and relaxed summer heat.
Hon, it’s totally normal to go through that. It slowly gets less extreme until you can deal. Meanwhile, all of us are here to help you out if you need anything! Use that.