Original article posted by gandhi2:
I’ve been feeling that it’s necessary to let everybody know the following, for multiple reasons. Some very definable. Like the fact that I’ve realized my life will never be the same. This realization comes to me from 3:00 a.m. – 6:00 a.m. on some nights, as I attempt to convince my 2-week-old daughter that sleep is a good thing, and console and pamper my sleep-depraved wife as she transforms into a food item. Sometimes it comes when I find myself happy to travel 80-90 miles every other day for work, so that I can be a good “bread-winner” for my family (the alternative is to work a shitty fast-food job, and I do have some moral integrity and pride). So I’ve been feeling rather philosophical about change.
My life will never be the same, and honestly, I don’t care to throw off some of the trappings of a ramen-fed, destitute, single student. I’ve never put any stock into the whole concept of being half a person; that someday, everybody will find the perfect match and become whole. However it is nice to have somebody who understands you at a level that you’ve never been able to expose to anybody else. This doesn’t mean that I don’t want or need other people in my life that fill different roles.
Rodney: It is not your job to ensure that I am getting food while doing programming homework. But you’re a hell of a conversationalist, you understand and enjoy video games, and dammit, you will wrestle the world to the ground if you thought it was for just cause. Ryan: You may not be currently able to empathize with my joy at being a father. Our graphics programming coup makes up for this fact. Rowsdower: If you don’t understand me and Hastings, thanks for trying. If you do, I understand more of the real you than I thought. Thanks for inducting me into your family. Sometimes I feel like I’ve wedged my way in. Junpei: Although “junpei: Wet and Wild” is intriguing, I request you please stay out of my sexual fantasies. However, I enjoy just plain talking to you. You probably understand more than any other friend why I’m pursuing the career I am (we should get paid to do things we’d do for free anyway, right?) You also have a sense of humor that makes people temporarily forgot the crapulence. Wendy: I like computers and am a tech geek. You are not. But you are one of the most comfortable people in the world to be around, and you let me play. Thanks.
The bottom line is this: One’s life can change without the need to reinvent or redefine oneself. I am first to admit that my experiences, anecdotes, conversation topics, and concerns are likely to change as a result of getting married and having a child. But each and every thing that intrigued or interested my friends is still there, waiting to be asked for again. There was a point that I thought that Cupid’s fateful arrow was a death of sorts, that people were reanimated by love and became shells that couldn’t dream anymore. I saw it happen to alot of my friends. I watched as person after person got married, produced children, and disappeared. I think about it now, and I know that I expected this to happen and placed a stigma on them. How’s that for self-fulfilling prophecies…
Part of the loss of dynamic is having everybody split geographically. I’ll try to visit you more often. Come and visit us more often. We’ll try to keep our domestic rumblings to a dull roar. Beneath this paternal exterior lies a geek just itching to get out.
Re: Some Remarks on Change…And a Shameless Plug
Last night was great. It was fun to get out and about and harass people again. Thanks.
i adore your computer geek self
i’ll always be around.
no matter what the change.