Original article posted by ravenpaine:
Entry 43 – March 28
I want there to be an unbearable pain that starts in the center of my mind and sends me into seizures whenever I do anything other than what I am supposed to be doing.
It will attack my eye first, they will swell like that crazed woman or if I was on Mars ala Total Recall.
Then it would go for my knees. They would go numb and I would collapse. The indignity of collapsing is enormous.
Then there would be the feeling of insects running under my skin and my blood would boil.
Given that kind of threat I think I could do a set of daily tasks without wavering. The things I could get done then. The studying and the working and the so on and so forth. Yeah, it would be pretty good all the way around.
But I don’t have that. So I have to think of something else to accomplish from time to time.
Yeah. That’s what I need to do. The work. I’ll get one of them new fangled job things and work on a schedule. And then I’ll start reading again. And eventaully I’ll even do all those papers that are due for class that I really don’t seem to care about. I mean, at all.
So yeah. That would be a plan.
As is, I’m simply going to have to plan on failing some more. Just a little more though. Not too much.
This has been swell. Yep, typing away like this. Feeling my fingers cramp because I’m switching between two keyboards right now and my fingers won’t focus properly. A real big pain.
I have to write a letter to Greg. I owe him that. And it is something I wish I had from time to time. Now if only I can get the portion of my brain that cares to come online and start getting some crap done, that would be graet.
Bonne nuit, bonne nuit to you all.
Re: Must not consume gravy…
The insects, the pain, the brain seizures; these things can be arranged.
I’ve dabbled in hypnosis, you know.
I can make you sneeze whenever you’re not doing your business. Unless you have none, of course.