Original article posted by Stephanie:

I’ve been happy lately. I’m not sure where the faking it until I make it ends and where the real happiness begins, but I’m good with that.

I know my friends were getting sick of my beginning to cry every time they asked me how I was doing, so I started by just pretending things were great. And then I began to realize that things aren’t really that bad. And especially compared to some people I know, my life is downright peachy.

It’s funny, and a little sad, how just one guy can skew your perspective of life so badly that you think it is over once he’s gone from it.

And honestly, the only times that I feel crappy lately, are the times I talk to him, or think about him. Then all the old feelings that I’ve shoved down come rushing out, and I miss him and I love him and I want him so badly it hurts.

The rest of the time I kinda float around in a little oblivion bubble and am fairly cheerful and optimistic.

I guess I’m going in circles around this, but I’m happy. Mostly. Some moments I’ll get bitter and say that happiness is a facade and a shield I can hide behind. And I wouldn’t be lying. But, I guess I’m sick of crying and whining, and just want to get on with it.

My next step…getting on to what exactly??

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