Original article posted by Dyistar:

Damn it, I did it again. So that’s twice now in a week where I could have a better grade on something but didn’t because I am stupid. Not academically stupid, mind you, just stupid in general. Earlier this week I just didn’t go to class. I was like, “It’s a nice day out and I really don’t want to go to class because there’s a small qiuz I didn’t study for so I’ll just go read somewhere instead.” Turns out that the so called quiz was just a practice quiz for the one we were having next time. And instead of taking the time to study I was just “screw it” and went to class. Only to find out that if I had just shown up I would have aced this quiz which counted for 20 points on our next test. I’m such an idiot.

And then there’s today. Project I needed to be working on. This time I actually was working on it and everything. I just kept getting distracted. Which was fine because I had time and had time and had time. Until I was still a little short at 5 minutes to when it was due. I had no choice but to turn it in late. About 15 minutes late. And it fucking sucks.

I don’t know about the rest of you but I’m ready for all of this to be over. For some reason this semester has just been hell and I’m going to be so happy once its over. At this point all I can think of is getting out and away. I hate school. The only motivation I have to keep trying is that it isn’t my money that is putting me through school, it’s my parents. They expect results. And I’m going to disappoint them horribly.

I don’t want to be here for the schooling. I’m here for the people. I’m here because here I can be me and not Mom and Dad’s little girl. It is here where I’m learning who I am and what I can do. All the years of being stepped on in high school and middle school are slowly washing away and I am learning to stand on my own feet. Better yet I am helping others to stand. I’m starting to care about people again. I’m begining to trust again. It’s a wonderful feeling. But it will all change if I can’t keep my grades up. If I can’t get over being lazy and stupid.

The sad thing … oh never mind. You don’t care and I’ve stop caring. Go do something fun. Or better yet productive. I’m going to play Minsweeper until I win.

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