Original article posted by thewendy:

From this rain
no umbrella
can keep me
dry in a graveyard
of short stories
I fall in
then quickly
out of love
and they never
notice the way
I imagine leaving.

Orginal comments:


Nickname: Olorle
Re: graveyard of short stories
Hmm… Title? Always my first question. I think the transition between short stories and love is a little rough. I don’t know if you need on more piece between the two ideas or just something a little different to turn more from one idea to the next.

I really like the graveyard of short stories and the rain. I like putting falling into a grave and falling into love as a comparison. The end is nice, though the and link feels so out of place with what you have elsewhere. although it is the most obvious bridge.

Probably just needs some minor sorts of tinkering to make it fall into place. One of those really obvious sorts of somethings that will be horribly annoying to finally see, but pull together that something you think it needs.

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