Original article posted by ravenpaine:

Entry 56 – May 25

The past few days have been less than easy for our old pal Rodney. Friday I experienced a complete lack of focus coupled with the loss of some notes and the need to write some important things in a very short period of time. I started dissasociating viciously, full blown with alien hand syndrome, and I had lost my glasses so staring at a monitor caused migraine as well.

I could have handled three out of five of these problems, but not all of them. Certainly not all of them.

Saturday I went to Kanab to visit my two families. My real family was as annoying as always and my need to escape from them prompted me to flee quickly before bad things could occur. Such as talking to my grandfather for any length of time. That man wasn’t all here when he was young, now that he is 70 some-ought there is no real hope that he will ever say anything useful.

My surrogate family offered a different problem. They did all the things that I think a family should do and exposed me, once again, to the dichotomy of my childhood constantly torn between a thing I did not want and a thing I could not have.

Like the old adage goes, “Now I’m dead and gone and I can’t do anything that I want or I’m still alive and there is nothing I want to do.”

TMBG are prophets from a distant land and there time has not yet come. But we are getting closer.

Sunday featured group activities that degenerated quickly. The wind made the picnic less than great, but it was certainly pleasent. The character building, though, that shit went as poorly I’m still worried about it.

The art of character creation is to have everyone discuss what they would want to do as a character and then translate it into the game system. Getting six people to talk and be excited about what it is that they want to do. Really getting into the dramactic personea of what they are creating is what gamins is about anyway. The rules and the dice are just there to make you feel good that you can succeed at games of chance.

But perhaps I digress. Perhaps I should get on to Monday. Where I skipped my classes and then only worked 4 hours instead of 5. Where I started to pull myself back together through careful dedication to a set of things. That kind of stuff. That should be mentioned.

My CD is skipping. Depeche Mode’s It’s No Good, one of my favorite songs, is chopping up and leaving me unable to properly think.

If I may recompose myself to some extent and switch up songs, with reluctance, then I can tell you that Patient Zero has returned.

Good old Zero has again found himself kicked from one plan in life to drift in a morass of other more terrible things. But, because he is Zero, he will come out of these events as well off and chipper as he always is. It’s both shocking and horrifying to watch that boy deal with life on such a massive scale.

Anyway, the following is a fun amount of what my novel outline is going to look like.

Rodney TGAP
Bonne nuit, bonne nuit to you all.

Orginal comments:

Nickname: thewendy
you should have came to see me instead.

Nickname: ravenpaine
Re: tisk
Yes, yes I should have.