Original article posted by Greg:

We’ve been in the new place a couple of weeks. It’s really really nice. The cockroach problem isn’t that there are a lot – as our last place surely had thousands of tiny cockroaches – but that there are a few big ones that like to fly at you and try to eat your face.

I think they have a face-eating cult.

I sprayed one with Raid the other day. It only became enraged. That’s when I found out cockroaches sometimes fly at you in an effort to eat your face.

Sometimes dripping with Raid, too.

We had a typhoon pass directly over our city too. We were pretty pumped. It turned out that a typhoon means it’s going to be a rainy day, and nothing more. But everybody on the street was terrified. “Typhoon’s a’ commin’! Typhoon’s a’ commin’!”

I’m in the process of becoming a “Certified Missionary.”

This is my major stress right now. My senior companion, Zone Leader, Assistant to the President, and President himself all asked me about my CM process within the last week. And all but President Perkins said I need to go faster and work harder.

I think if I ever become an authority in the mission field I will make it a point to call people and congratulate (how do you spell that?) them for every call to action I give them.

As from the beginning, my stress is always this: “Am I a good missionary?”

And all these elders breathing down my nicely starched collar makes me feel like the answer must be no.

So I’ve been feeling pretty bu hao lately. At least when I let myself think about it.

But for the most part I just try to do my best and enjoy it.

So that’s the haps over here in the eastern hemisphere. Also apparently there’s lots of people here that speak chinese. That’s been the news too.

Notes to people:

Rodney: It has been far too long since you gave me some of your writing or advised me of your situation. Please remedy. Use remedaga.

Kayeleen: See forwarded email. At end attach: P.S. You are cute.

Stephanie: I now do not have your address. Please leave the eastern hemesphere to those who speak chinese, and the australians. And maybe those on islands near Australia. Forward your address.

Spencer: Whatever I would say “No, Spencer.” to, don’t do it.

Blaine: I understand your feelings about postponed missions completely. Really. Trust me.

Julia: Como estas. Other words in spanish.

Rachel: Long time, no hear.

Mom and dad: Take good care of my car.

Julia A: You’re in china?

All: Repent and be baptized. Then woot 3 times a day, every day.

-Elder Awesome.

Orginal comments:

Nickname: Cornelius
Re: D is for Doom
Full update of current events forthcomming(stop) Kentucky is warm (stop) Also humid (stop) Don’t let The Man get you down (stop) I have your kodama (stop) Would you like it? (stop) w00+ (stop) w00+ (stop) w00+ (stop)