September 2004

Original article posted by ravenpaine:

Entry 76 – September 28

Crazy times in the long morning of distrust and dander. I know what you’re thinking, he’s just going off on some half concieved set of nonsense and will ramble until he’s done leaving whatever point that I, as a reader, brought with me.

That is not true. On many accasions I could indeed be accused of things of this sort, but this time there is something being said by this statement.

The long morning referes to the number of times that I can wake up and feel like sleep was a waste of time. I’m still tired if not more tired and I still haven’t got anything done with my day or night in the case of sleep uselessness.

Distrust is a reference to an unsettling set of near freak outs that I have had out of nowhere recently. Normally I have mood swings and horrible thoughts and grotesque depression and then I get violent and reactionary. Now I can be totally fine with no issues of any sort (other than my ecclectic need to place all phrases containing any, no, or some directly with the word that it preceeds, as in anysort or someplace) and then suddenly I hear a word, or a sound, or see just a glimpse of something and I’m thrown into a momentary violent outburst. I have wanted to harm small children recently, for no reason other than they can make noises and on occassion, Rodney no like noises, noises bad. Grunt, snarl.

And finally dander. My possession of a cat and lack of a vacuum have accumulated almost three months worth of dander around the house. Non alergenic people are starting to succumb to this horror. My eyes burn daily and other start sneezing and coughing and poor Cube rips out in hives time and time again. This type of thing should not be allowed to perpetuate itself all over the various hills and dales of my house. No sir, no sir at all.

NOTE: That last line was nonsense, utter and complete and unerring and unredeemable.

The HackMaster game has been reborn and I feel a sense of completion and wonder at its many splendors. Nowhere else may you play a game that can be so silly and terribly brutal at the same time. It boggles the mind to think that such feats are possible.

Must flee, time is coming for me and I am out of tempus mort. Temporal homicide is a pass time that I can only recommend for the hard of bladder and strong of head.

Rodney TGAP
Bonne nuit, bonne nuit to you all.


Original article posted by Greg:

Not a whole lot to report this week. I had a great first discussion last night with a family of four. Elder Rowberry played with the kids and I taught the parents. It went well. They agreed to give it a try, which is all we ask. Then they loaded us up with a bag full of candy, fried fish (whole), ‘egg rolls,’ a 2-liter bottle of 7-up, and tried to give us a cake. We said no, because with the bag of food given to us by the last house we visited, there wouldn’t have been room on my bike.

Some days you give it away, some days it gets given to you. It’s just never quite what you expect either way.

The best part of teaching that family last night was this: I wasn’t looking forward to it, as they had frequently told us how faithful they were in their religion, and how ‘all religions are the same.’ I’ve tried to teach people of this particular religion before and it’s like something involving an overused phrase and a brick wall. So, walking up to their door, I said a quick prayer and asked God to change my preconceptions through this experience. And He did.

The highlight of the past week, though, came on Sunday. As we stopped to look at a map, and big old man with a scarred over tracheotomy walked up to us.

I will mention that my Chinese isn’t that good to begin with.

He said something, then tapped on my nametag. Then he turned to Elder Rowberry and said “Aaaayyyy!” and gave him a big hug. Then he turned to me and said “Aaaayyy!” and gave me a big hug. Then, in English, he said, “I love you!” and gave Elder Rowberry a hug again and wandered off. Apparently to find more missionaries to hug.

THEN, moments later, in the same spot, a lady waves at us through the window. We go over and she starts talking to us. She was from Vietnam, and her Chinese wasn’t very good. Despite that, she made it abundantly clear that she was looking for an American to marry. We said, sorry not interested. She started crying and told us about how she first met Americans when they killed her father when she was five years old. She still remembers the jets and the bombs.

Then she wiped away the tears and said, ‘but that doesn’t matter now, we’re all friends now. I like Americans now.’

We couldn’t think of what to say, and knew that she wouldn’t understand much of whatever it was we weren’t thinking of anyway. So we just shook hands and went away.

A weird 5 minutes or so.

Stuffington would have known what to say.

-Elder ‘subliminal, in an unnoticable way’ Hamblin

Orginal comments:

Nickname: AnaNg
Re: Old Stuffington gets a name, and more.
Oh my.

Original article posted by ravenpaine:

Entry 75 – September 24

It is supposed to mean “snuggle bunny” apparantely, noodlehashen, that is; however it might actually be spelled.

I did some things yesterday. Important things. Massive things. Things that involved being at peak performance for some large amount of the day and really smashing the hell out of some unsuspecting fools. Indeed there were things that happened that can only be called massively important. Things. Important. Called.

I recieved the rest of my money after 3 weeks of waiting. there was a certain amount of anxiety connected to the waiting, but over all I feel okay now, not as paranoid of the imminence of my demise and so on. I do hope that the future will involve fewer obnoxious surprises of this sort and will instead just be open and ready for me to do those things that I want to get done.

The day of school going well is a first in a while. I did what I could to express my opinion and shape the learning of everyone that was there. I didn’t go out of my way to be cruel or obstinant, I even attempted to merge my argument with their argument using a small picture/big picture fallacy. They bought it to an extent, but I wasn’t really in the mood to lord it over them or anything ridiculous like that.

Han bara – however it is spelled is the name of a Japanese rose, which is a symbol of death, and also it is the cutesy nickname that I have given Amber. Amber made yesterday a day of crazy fun strangeness. She made me a bento box for lunch, which if you are unaware is a traditional Japanese lunch box often prepared by girls for their boys which features little poems and a variety of ethnic foods. Living in the United States I was given half a PBJ and some really tasty pasta medley. I felt loved.


Amber then went off to an event that Rowsdower and I tried to attend but instead fled nonchalantly in reverse to avoid. Something about hanging out with people you don’t like too much who are going to be poorly singing songs that you don’t like a lot makes you want to just turn and run rather then sit and insult person after person.

Then she got ill, apparently she has a gall bladder infection or perhaps ulcers. She’s been visciously ill from something, anyway, and it is making her lose weight and go all pukey.

Poor thing has been working way to hard for three weeks to achieve the sorts of goals that I can achieve just by being awake enough in any given day to give a damn. It is sad really. Me, being like that. Not her and trying. Trying is much more important and definately the way to go over the stupid nonsense that I get myself upto with this whole being a lazy crazy genius schtick.

And I would like to take a moment to triumphantly gloat that I only have one class on Friday that is over at noon and then I’m off to what I want to do the rest of the time and ha ha.

Rodney TGAP
Bonne nuit, bonne nuit to you all.

Orginal comments:

Nickname: SmokyWolf
Re: The quest for noodlehashen.
Said activity had plenty of room for the insulting of persons with lesser singing abilities. However, there were a few representations from this community who participated and, to some extent, avoided complete and utter inanity/humiliation. At least I’d like to think so.

Original article posted by Stephanie:

So I work at Parowan Days Inn now. And Best Western. My jobs are easy as jobs go, and mostly I like the people I work with (the one exception being the owner of BW)
I don’t make very much, but considering where I live, I do ok.
I’m going to New zealand again. And again. Considering that that’s all the news I seem to ever have in my life, it’s not overly exciting. But Me, I’m excited. W00t! 6 weeks and I’ll be there, just a visit. And then 3 and a half months after that, I’m there for good.
Yes, I’m moving to New Zealand. It’s freaky. Terrifying. And I can’t wait.
Now I just have to save up $5000. The fact that I just spent a thousand on a plane ticket isn’t that smart I suppose, but oh well. I don’t pay rent, I can save that much.
Guess we’ll see what happens.
I would write more. But now I have to leave my first job and go to my second.
k, bye

Original article posted by thewendy:

Since I am unable to check this sight very often, due to teaching and graduate school, and panic attacks, and headaches, and bla bla, if you need to get a hold of me- email me at my hotmail account or call me. I have checked this site I think only twice, maybe three times in the last month and would hate to miss any important emails.

I’ll be down in Cedar City over the weekend of the 8th. I’ll be going to a play and visiting friends in Vegas and St. George. See you all soon.

Rodney- sorry to hear about you getting robbed. I’ll send you happy thoughts and luck.

Original article posted by ravenpaine:

Entry 74 – Septermber 21

Zing, zang zoodle. The rest is still to come.

Let me level with you, faithful readers, things have been going poorly as of late. The kind of poorly is of great breadth and some kind of thick rich broth with all the most delicate meat chunks baked right in there.

It’s good eatin’ to say the least.

I’ve been more depressed and sleepy this semester than any previous semester including my first semester, the one right after I had just been banished from my previous life. I’ve gotten over the bulk of it. I’m getting up in the morning and heading to class with some sense of destiny and purpose behind me. Which is good considering the kinds of philosophy I subscribe to are primarily fatalistic.

I’m having some trouble organizing my thoughts around a central point so I’ll just try to put it together in the ultimate of cop-outs – bulleted points.

@ I’m depressed by some vague notion of a parallel world in which I pulled myself together much earlier and am doing much better than I am now, which is to say that I’m depressed because I’m not doing as well in life as my imaginary self from the theta dimension who is always rubbing my nose in his greater more profoundly Rodney-esque accomplishments.

@ I cannot seem to take my recent robbery well. On the one hand I now have less to do in the ways of gaming, which allows me more time to focus on writing and school and besting the Rodney of theta dimension who is such an arrogant bastard. On the other hand I am denied the security of thinking that any of my possesions or intellectual propery are safe, therefore anything I do will only be taken from me. Pathetic, but truly how you feel at such times.

@ I’m amused daily by the antics of Amber who falls asleep and in a groggy half-conscious British accent tries to interact with the other people in the room. Amber is doing something for me that no one has been able to do thus far in the past seven years – she wants me to succeed and finds the proper ways to prod me into doing so. I’m assuming that interdimensional assassins sent from that bastard Rodney from epsilon dimension will be arriving very soon for her. They will be brutally surprised when I shut the dimensional gate on their heads and mock them in the public square like so many Puritans.

@ I’ve got to accomplish something in the way of the semester. So far I’m behind, but I have time and, presumably, energy. With their powers combined I should sit my ass doawn and do nothing but read and write until I’m the me that theta Rodney is and epsilon Rodney wants dead.

@ I do take a large amount of comfort in knowing that epsilon Rodney hates me as much as he does. That guy is a real loser, a real big loser.

Well that is an overly dramatized version of the events of my life that are empowring me to do something something about all of my what-not and the other.

For those of you who only read this line in the text, shame on you, me and the fig patrol are on to you and your “cliff notes of life” ways. You will be tested on some of this material and I only issue fill in the line tests, the bane of all test takers.

I’m good now, see you tomorrow or something.

Rodney TGAP
Bonne nuit, bonne nuit to you all.

Original article posted by Greg:

Well, the shift key is broken on this keyboard and the thing wants to write in Chinese. So I may end up with a really unusual letter today.

In other news, a nice man approached us yesterday and asked if we wanted to learn “Chinese Boxing.” My companion excitedly said yes, but after a little discussion it turns out he meant “Tai Qi” which would be not like boxing. The man later tried to express the depth of his strength through a handshake with elder Rowberry. His arm quivvered, his brow furrowed, his eyes squinted as he applied the force of his will to squeezing elder Rowberry’s hand as hard as he could.

Elder Rowberry grew up in a family of 7 men, all of whom are very much into fighting, bodybuilding, wrestling and the like.

The Man With the Kung Fu Grip started squinting and shaking a little more as my companion squished the man’s knuckles together just a little.

Elder Rowberry: 1. Kung Fu Death Grip: 0.

In other news, the new missionary program is rolling out here in Taiwan. It is probably fully out in other areas, for all I know, but it’s exciting and new here. We just got spiffy new planners and schedules and a bit of what is to come. It was exciting.

I’m wearing green pants with black socks.

The new schedule keeps us in the house till 10:30 AM instead of 9:30. This is because of the addition of a half hour of excercise and a half hour of extra preparation time. That’s neato to me.

The numbers and such which we track and report have been changed to report more of what we’re working for, rather than reporting the steps we take to get to what we’re working for. Get it? It means instead of saying how many people we talked to today to try and get set-ups, we report how many people set up. That sort of thing. So the methods used don’t have as much focus. This is to try and prevent some elders from focusing on the numbers. Now hopefully, they will focus on the goal – which is the people.

The “CM” process has also changed, which makes me happy. I will hopefully be able to be finished with that by mid-October.

Basically everything that has ever frustrated me about the mission is now gone. Everything that I ever found myself thinking ‘It shouldn’t be that way’ about has been erased. AThe missionaries have moved from a program that hardly gives you room to breathe to a program that will allow each elder and companionship to stand or fall on his own. And those who succeed will do so far better than they ever could have in the rigid standards of the previous system.

Now hopefully I’ll be able to remember how to be idealistic.

Elder Rowberry has one thing that he doesn’t like – and that is that he’s forced to set realistic goals. Like sometimes we simply do not have time to visit a member during a day, and so our goal has to be 0.In the past, he has always said “We never have a goal of 0.” But now our goals are reported and compared to our actual numbers. So this teaches us to set realistic, achievable, specific, stretching goals.


Stephanie: Thanks for the letter. I don’t know when I’ll have a chance to write, but I’ll try to soon. Stay good.
Dad: He says nope.
Mom: Carguys thing didn’t work out? Also, I was going to ask you to mail some of my entries to Luke Millhouse, but I don’t happen to have his address on me. Sorry. But I hear you’re pretty busy what with signups and all that stuff.
Kayeleen: Hi.
Blaine: Sorry to hear about all the setbacks. I know how you feel.
Rodney: Back on the old “Time is Money” kick?
Jodie: Bwa ha ha ha ha ha. Please forward to others, from me.

Fly High,
Drink Deep,
Stand Tall,
Breathe Free,
Walk Without Rhythym,
-Elder Hamblin

Orginal comments:

Nickname: Cornelius
Re: Elder Rowberry vs. the Kung Fu Death Grip
I’m glad to hear about the changes made in the program. I was a little concerned about my ability to be patient with some of the sillyness you have described. Also, I like to exercise in the mornings. Real mail in the mail.

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