Original article posted by Greg:

Elder Greg Hamblin was born in the sunny spring of the year 1980. From the beginning, his life was unusual. His mother describes the following
experience: “I had never heard of anybody going into labor from eating too much cookie dough.”

Elder Hamblin was an energetic child. But his parents were equal to the task, and often created unusual games for him to play, such as “Throw everything you can get your greasy paws on out the window” and “Prove
the bag of flour is not empty.” His first words, according to
witnesses, were “Demosthenes was an imbecile.” But some have argued that before that was an earlier phrase of “Damn liberals.”

It was in high school that Elder Hamblin met his first love, and a multi-year courtship ensued. At a family reunion around that time he was asked what he saw in the near future as far as relationships go. He was heard to reply “Well, doritos and chat are great, but I think I’ll
actually try dating a girl sometime soon.” It wasn’t long afterwards
that he gave up a portion of his nerdy ways in order to attract more less-nerdy girls.

Yet his role-playing habit stuck around till college. Some have speculated this is the reason many women had said “He’s still got some growing up to do.” Others have said it was because of the way he would sometimes fall to the floor screaming and flailing his arms saying “WANT TO WATCH STAR WARS AGAIN!”

College was where he met his future partner in business, Thinking Really
Hard. They didn’t get along well at first, but now they both claim to
have beat the other into submission.

During his mission, Elder Hamblin changed many of his habits and behaviors. While on the sunny coasts of Taiwan, he was often seen lounging on the beach in a comfy white shirt and tie.

It was in Taiwan where he first coined the phrase “\/\/00+ till you drop.” And it was that same attitude which skyrocketed him to fame in the entertainment, business and political world.

“I couldn’t say I was a self-made-man unless I actually made myself.”
He once said at a press conference, “Which would be really hard, since I would have to make the stuff to make me even before I was made. So that’s why I disagree when people say I’m a self made man. I’m more of a man made self. And it’s a good self. Very low on phlegm.”

Elder Hamblin, man of legend, mystery and talent.

Well, it wasn’t 16 hours, but it was a start. Maybe I’ll put more
effort into it and make a million.

Not much to say to the masses today.

-Elder Hamblin

Orginal comments:

Nickname: Cornelius
Re: Mentos and years of effort pay off at last.