August 2005

Original article posted by medusajoy:

I tend to rant a lot I suppose…at least at anyone who’ll listen…If I were a mathematician…ha ha…I could calculate the statistical probability of the increasing number of rants versus the decreasing number of listeners…and therefore time of death…or some such. I have one friend who perpetually interrupts my rants, which would normally anooy me, however, since those are the moments in which she drops little pearls of wisdom ( that and she still lets me rant) I allow it. So when she asked me why it was that I always draw the shortest sticks…I was speachless which of course made her laugh, but that’s a different rant. I wondered, family-short stick, relationships -shorter stick, health-short stcik. And of course smaller details, like my lemon of a car, barely functioning computer and so forth. Of course this only lead to me ranting about drawing the short stick…and as to the why of it…bad karma or something.


Original article posted by -soma-:

It’s 4:30 am, and I’m at work. Everything is quiet. I’m listening to The Smashing Pumpkins.
I’m happy.

Ryan would never use this site to promote his blog. So I’ll do it instead. . .

If you have a few minutes, check out Ryan’s site It’s chock-full of nerdy anecdotes and libertarian goodness. Really, even if you aren’t a libertarian, these things are important to you. And Ryan needs a larger readership.

As for me? Last week I went to the Star Trek convention in Las Vegas. I even got Spock’s autograph. Yep. . . young pon fare Spock from Star Trek III: The Search for Spock. He liked my spots! (I was a trill). And so now I have a picture of him on my wall. Below his picture he wrote: “To Kellie: My Vulcan Blood Boils: Nice Spots!” Ah ha ha ha. . . (you’re jealous).

This summer I also made a very important decision. After finishing an English degree at SUU, I’m going to forget everything I learned. Then I’m going to earn myself a degree in Physics. I had a good go here at SUU, but I suspect the quality of education is about to plummit, especially if the administrators continue ignoring their upper-division students whilst admitting just about anyone willing to pay the fees. But horray anyway! Maybe they will finally be able to pay someone to fill up that huge hole in the middle of campus that’s been there for four months now.

Not that I have anything against fenced-off mountains of dirt obstructing the path to my classes.

Also, I’ll be serving as president of Sigma Tau Delta. No, it’s not a sorority. It’s the English honor’s society. And to all you wise-guys out there, yes, it’s abbreviated STD, so you can all have a good laugh about that one.

Farewell and goodnite:

Original article posted by Greg:

I don’t know why I mention it, except that I thought it was interesting. And fat. And I started singing the song “Breakaway” by Big Pig.

People have been telling me for the last little while (like years) that I’m too hard on myself. It’s starting to sink in a little. So now I’ve started being too hard on myself for being too hard on myself. That should clear up this problem in no time.

Seriously, though, if there’s any advice on the subject of being too hard on myself, you could advise me. Or just shush.

The plan for today, presented by my companion, is once again to wander about the large market part of town and look into every electronic store. But pretty much just look, since his money is gone.

I don’t mind, but I get bored of seeing essentially the same store over and over again. Oh well. We did see something pretty cool last time. It was a desktop that was playing video as the background. So there were icons and windows open over the top of this full screen video background. It was neat. But perhaps only to a nerd like myself.

The terrorists were here, but nobody was impressed. We got of a train from Taipei and were headed towards our companions when, over by the line of waiting taxis that perpetually exists by mass transit, there was a flash and a boom. It was way loud, but I didn’t feel any force. Of course, it was 100 yards away or so. Some alarms went off, and a guy checked his car for damage. Rather than fleeing in terror, the Taiwanese people just went about doing whatever it is that they do. And a small crowd gathered around the spot where the explosion had happened. Then they walked away uninterested. My companion remains convinced it was a homemade bomb. I remain convinced it was just a big fat firecracker.

This is what happens when you live in a country where fireworks are seen as a great blessing. Us crackers thought it was pretty intense, but nobody else seemed to.

I bet the big fat pig was also unimpressed.

We played a game of duck duck goose with some kids the other day. They had never played it before they met the missionaries. The youngest walked around the circle, touching each persons head “duck… duck… duck… duch (he speaks german)… duck… ” then he stopped before touching a girl, backed up about 20 feet, then ran forward screaming. “WaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhH! GOOSE!” then slapped her on the head, and continued his sprint around the circle. She only had time to stand up before he was back to the safe spot.

The next time it was his turn he did the same thing, but we had him pretty well figured out by then and the targeted person would start getting up before getting tagged.

Kids are funny. But not as funny as pigs with cute little atrophe’d legs.

I leave you with this thought:
If I can see what you’re saying, And you can hear what I’m seeing, what the crap is that blue thing?

Soon to put evil plans into fizzy action,

Original article posted by Greg:

So I remain in Zhong Li. My new companion is Elder Blake. I have known of Elder Blake for a while, but never worked with him. He’s the kind of guy who has a mp3 player and digital camera on him at all times, even on the mission. I’m sure we’ll get along fine. If not, I’ll just have to beat him with frozen sarcastic french heads.

I find myself somewhat excited to go back to being senior companion slash district leader, but also with that sense of freedom comes that feeling of responsibility and some stress. I have not worked as well as I should have, particularly in my chinese abilities. So I’ve slipped some in the past month. Also the area is incredibly confusing.

I did learn quite a bit during the last transfer. Elder Gaillard was a great missionary. He also had an amazing testimony that he just loved to share with everybody. He got baptized 4 years ago and immediately wanted to share his experiences with everybody. I hope that I am equally willing to share what I like the most about my life.

The water is turned off again, since another typhoon blew through. But they say it should be back to normal in just a day or two. No problem.

We got taken out to eat about 10 times in the past week. It was because elder Gaillard was leaving and all of the members just love him. So I got to partake of the goodness. mmmm.

I came with no idea of what to write about, so this is all you get. Another random update of my life.

My love to all, my scorn to some, shiny puppies to 3.

-Elder Hamblin

Orginal comments:

Nickname: milly
Re: A boring Elder Hamblin, thinking of excite bike.
i think of Elder Hamblin with whiticism and brownies. but oft enough my whit is not accepted. the brownies however… this is just another missionary… Im in Pittsburgh, just chugging along.

Original article posted by Greg:

Yesterday morning started off normal, except I lifted up a weight 3 times. On purpose. At about 8 am we got a buzz on the door. It was our landlord. He wanted us to help him move something. We said we could pop on down and help him at about 9. Which we did. He pointed to the pile of boxes on top of cabinetry and said “That all needs to go to the fifth floor.” So we did that. Lots of stair climbing. Then a cabinet needed moving. Then a refridgerator. Then several cabinets needed to be lifted on to other cabinets and a third set of cabinets moved into the place of the second.

By this time we had to leave in order to prepare for the day and make it to our appointment on time. Which we did, but he asked us to come back and move just ‘one more thing.’

The morning appointment stood us up, which was okay cause we hadn’t had any study time in the morning on account of moving stuff. So we made a few calls, then studied. The sisters showed up after a while and mentioned that there is in fact mail for everybody, but they left it at home.

Then we were off to the rural part of the area – off on the west coast. It was a 45 minute bus ride, on which I didn’t get sick, but as soon as I stepped off the bus I did. Then we found the 2 bikes we had stashed in that area, but found that one had a flat. Went to get it fixed while I tried to fight off heat stroke in the blazing tropical sunlight.

Then off to visit less active members on the coast. We had 5 we meant to visit, and we found all 5 of them at home on a weekday afternoon. It was amazing. During the process, which took the rest of the day and night…

We found the most inactive of them pulling into his garage right as we pulled up . He was very nice to us once he realized he was caught.

Then, on the hour ride to the next part of the coast, I heard something flicked up into my gears, get ground around a bit, then kicked up and lodged between the tire and rain guard. The tire started hissing in rhythym. psss psss psss psss pss psss psss. We stopped and watched the tire go flat. We were then 7 kilometers away from our destination. The exact 1/2 way mark between towns.

Luckily a passing motorist was nice enough to pick us up, and our bikes, and deliver us to the next member’s home on a pig farm.

I sat in the back fanning myself with a brown envelope I had bought for mailing things to a girl. It was hot. I was tired.

Then we got to look around the pig farm and chat with the boss, who is a longtime member. It was cool. He showed us what he fed them – it was hundreds of bags of cookies. All the broken or ugly cookies from the cookie factory get put into big bags and sold in bulk for really cheap.

“These ones are great!” He said, pulling out a cookie half and eating it. “Here! Try one!” he gestured to the open bag.

I’ve eaten bulk cookie rejects before, but they hadn’t been purchased by a pig farmer for the purpose of feeding pigs. Because anything purchased by pig farmers for pigs to eat is officially pig food.

I saw that the bag said that this pig food expires in 2006.

I have now eaten pig food.

They fixed my bike for me and fed us dinner. Mostly sea food. Also some pork. It was all good. Then we left.

It was at this point I noticed my wallet was missing. But nothing I could do about it. It probably ended up in the truck of the guy who gave us the ride. I hope to get it back someday.

On the ride back to the bike storage area, we rode with our heads down because if you looked up you got eyes, nose, and mouth full of bugs. I heard them ticking off my helmet like raindrops.

A few miles later a bat crashed into my helmet.

Then just as we arrived at the area, my bike developed a wobble and I heard it go *PING!* a couple of times. But nothing happened more than that.

Then it was off with a member of the bishopric to do a visit, and he bought me a snickers.

All in all a fun day.

I love you all, especially the short ones.
-Elder Hamblin