Original article posted by ravenpaine:

The following is the exact post from our sad sad man, with line by line critique and mockery… as well as explanation. Let the fun begin!

Italics are the original post – all else is my commentary.

Ok I am reminding you to tell me off about my home brewed religion, which of course I need to ask you before you start to go off,
Already we must ask ourselves, “Is this a sentence?” The ‘which’ in this sentence is a relative pronoun referring back to ‘home brewed religion,’ so the thing he must ask me about is his home brewed religion… which he obviously understands so little about that he must ask me to explain it to him. And so I’m not just making fun of his grammar, I’d also like to point out that even though you might not have a system of beliefs that have a popular name you should at least take a moment and give it a title… if for no other reason than it makes it easier to talk about if for some reason you intend to proselytise at all. I am just assuming you are wiccan or some type pagan beliefe, The extra ‘e’ on beliefe being a reference to the middle english beliefe, which is like belief but much easier to rhyme with if you happen to be Geoffery Chaucer. And no… I’m not any sort of pagan this that or the other. If my set of beliefs can be defined it would be “Humanist” but I prefer “Satanist” because in the original Greek that meant humanist and I like to play with people in that way. have you ever heard of the 72 goetian devils? I would like to try to call them that of course is not apart of my “home made religion” I just want to try to do it and see what happens. So are you saying that the Goetia are part of your religion or not? See, the words ‘a part’ mean seperate from, where as the word ‘apart’ means a part of or including. Might I say here that yes… I have heard of the 72 Goetia spirits and find them to be an interesting compilation of local supperstitions and expert storytelling. Also I do hope that you do not attempt to summon any of them, even assuming that such a thing was possible if you cast spells like you type your more likely to summon a tuna sandwich then a powerful otherworldly spirit.

So are you the rodney that she left for dipshit? Oh sorry my bad rodney I mean to say she left for ryan? I heard all sorts of tales about you, there was one time she was way pissed off at you this was way back when like two or three years back she dated a Rodney perhaps that was not you. I would like to introduce you to a friend of mine, the comma. He desperately wants to integrate himself into your sentence so that people might have some way of understanding what you were babbling. Also there are better ways to control the flow of time in your writing. Extra sentences…. never using ‘like’ which is used to set up similes as a chronology marker… and also your sentence should go somewhere… in general a sentence is used to convey information not to attempt to sorta convey information then say nothing. Why yes, I am that Rodney. Unfortanately you have most of your information incorret. You did not hear “all sorts of tales” about me and she did not leave me for Ryan, we had a mutual seperation.

I can stop picking on her if you wish, she is just so damn easy cause there is nothing she can do about it There word ’cause’ as in ‘I fight for a cause’ is very different than ‘because’ which is a causal conjunction. In the future please be more specific… but I did get it in context. You can attack whomever you wish in other venues… but since I admin at this venue I will remind you to follow the rules here and personal attacks of the sort you continuosly launch violate that code. and this Vincint character, by chance what is he supposed to do to me? Hmmm? Vincent, which you misspelled despited the fact that it was right above you when typing your response is who he is and need not answer to you. Also, if you attempt to summon any sort of anything could your remember that mispeaking and mispelling a things Truename will result in disaster, if anything at all. See there is a problem I have with that, see you people are down there and I am here you could find me because that is what I want I like a good spurt of violence, my favorite and I am so damn good at it is playing on your anger and rage. Again, familiarize yourself with my associate the comma and try that again. I have this issue too, you could just as easily come down here… attack us by surprise or something. You’re actually really quite lousy at playing upon my anger and rage as all I do is laugh at you and your pathetic attempts to incite such. If you could form a coherent sentence and then, later – maybe, form a coherent argument then perhaps I would have to get uspet at you. In addition, anyone who totes how great they are at physical combat… is always quite lame. No true warrior flaunts their own skill, the entire purpose of combat is to defend your beliefs and family (being a term for anyone you consider as such, not simply blood relatives). Only the most pathetic and impractical of people tell you that they can kick your ass, the true fighter simply does so when need be.

As for my home grown religion, well I will give you a chance to go off on it that is why I am reminding you now, I want you to that is what makes it fun. If you had actually detailed anything about your ‘religion’ I might take the time to poke holes in it, but since you are so inatriculate and absentminded that you have neither given a list of your beliefs and tenemants nor specifically labeled any random babblings as such I have nothing to comment on in regards to that topic. Your next sentence is a prime example of this. As for ryan well he is a pansey I am sorry that is just truth and I know kellers better than any of you, I can tell you she is already getting bored of him, I dont need to know him i just need to know how she is to tell you that he is a pussy, None of this has anything to do with your religion, which I thought we were going to be talking about… also this non-sequitor is full of misspellings and infers that you ‘know’ things about a person you haven’t seen in 5 years and doesn’t speak to you. see Kellie’s father in a sense is kind of a Nazi, Kellie will always struggle to have control of her males, You lost me on this one… Not only is the information incorrect and based upon a fictional meeting between you and her father but the second half has no relevance to the second half. I hereby veto the whole thing, for the good of humanity. my problem and yours from what she tells me if in fact you are that rodney is that we both think only of ourselves and not enough about her needs but I can not help it, and I am sure you could not help that we have our own idea’s and agenda’s. You are also inferring, incorrectly, a lot of information about me… particularly if you take into account that you are not even certain I’m the person you think I am. If you read more than two posts around here by me you will see that although I do have ideas and an agenda I work myself ragged attempting to look at and think of the needs and ideas of others… sure I get hurt for it and angry about it but just because something is difficult doesn’t mean that it isn’t worth it.

Her pussy means nothing to me that is not what I wanted from her, trust me I have eaten better cleaner pussy than what she has to offer, and it was non fridgid pussy, kellie can not get that wet, from what Neal told me at least, I almost feel bad for the girl.A) No one asked you this question. B) All of your information in this paragraph is falsified ridiculous nonsense. The very fact that you brought this up shows exactly how much you DO think about this and how bothered you are that such a thing cannot be yours. Also, come on man, have a little dignity and/or class and don’t talk about someones genitals on the web… how would you like if someone mentioned your total lack of pacakage and the way it leans to the right and how your left testical is all shriveled after the acid burns? Or so I assume based on information I made up on the spot and then applied to you. If you get my point, which I somehow suspect you will not.

But that is over now for my religion I will give you something to go off on now its your turn so here is what you can go off on this time. I see now… your religion actually does intrique and impress me. After much thought and consideration, and careful review of the evidence your ‘religion’ seems to be about taking portions of demenology and the magickal practices of the past hundred years and mentioning them breifly while complaining, inarticulately, about how sexual deprived you are and how much you need the companionship of a person so far beyond you that you have made up most of your association with here in a futile attempt to keep your empty psyche from smashing open like an overripe egg. Truly it is the religion of learned people the world over. I shall join you, my mighty spritual leader, from this moment forward I will begin thinking of exactly how many ways I can make your life less worth living… and do have patience it may take years for me to come up with anything that can hurt you as much as you consistently harm yourself.

The White Raven that being my calling what I go by, Yikes, just yikes. we wont get into that name just yet, I’m glad, I’d hate to hear you actually say, “I am the White Raven, you can call me White Raven, I do White Raven things” as your previous sentence leads me to believe that you do. lets talk about what it is I am setting up, it is a form of government for the time of the Antichrist If you know much about the biblical lore on the Antichrist… he or she will not appreciate your attempt at creating a government for him/her and will simply ignore it while achieving his/her own goals. it is a way to govern this region when he is here on this plane he will govern from the temple of humanity is what it will be called the lost temple I can barely… understand… what… it is… that you are… getting at ….here, but I… understand… sometimes… I… CAN’T STOP… talking like Shatner either. but whatever form it may come in it will need people to help it govern and control those who do not consider it the true messiah, Is the ‘it’ in your sentence relating to the antichrist or the temple. As it reads now you have referred ‘it’ to the lost temple which was so poorly defined in the first place as to make the whole thing incomprehensible. pretty much a committee will control this region there will be a special temple built here I already have the site in mind.

What will happen is the people that control this religion, it wont be mine anymore I will die before the day of glory I’m sorry to hear about your imminent passing my new spiritual guide… it is sad that your suicide, stemming from your relization of your horrible and pathetic life – not to mention your typing and spelling skills – came so soon and so abruptly leaving so much to do by those who have heard your words and then went on to… Well I’m not sure on that, since you haven’t actually SAID anything. and most of our generation will be dead and gone I am not doing it for my generation god no none of you would take to it, I am doing it for your childerens generation of course they will be easy targets of course it will be easy for you to go off on it, it is not for your day, I wish it was I would love to torment more people than I already have. I’m not sure you ever will torment more people than you already have, I know that I’ve been tormented to within an inch of my sanity by your inane strings of words loosely connected by the fabric of your own crapulance.

— NOTE: I apologize for this last sentence, which is meaningless. I ask your forgiveness… I’ve only been reading this stuff for a page now… it is starting to seep into my fingers and I, too find it difficutl to continue to type anything that means anything. —

It is a religion based on deny christ I didn’t know that Brian Dennhey had created a religion that he was the Christ of… and live stay with christ and no longer have your head or family. Some of us definately need others to lose their heads… it is the only hope we will have of being their intellectual equals.Ok have fun going off, but tread carefully make sure you can back up what you say that is all I ask, I appreciate that he issues me a challenge that he seems completely unable to meet himself. Look, buddy, if you want me to argue with your actuall argument then please, and I mean PLEASE, write an actual argument. One that involves only one subject that you stick to, that you do not divert from, in which no digression occurs, and then I will be glad to adress that argument and back up my counter argument with detailed and carefully referenced fact. and just refrain from telling me to respect kellie come on there is nothing to respect, she cant even look me in the eys when we talk how weak is that, by the way you dont need to know this but when you talk to me in person stay on my eyes it could save you as lot of trouble mean you can tell if I am loking for something to injure you with Since I am unfamiliar with the concept of ‘loking’ I will admit that I am afraid that if I ever have a face-to-face conversation with you you will attempt it. or if I am listening sincerely to you, Kellie cant ever look me in the eyes I tried to make her once.

Well I am done see you have fun making fun of my religion

Well, if you just read this then you have indeed seen me having fun… making fun of you… that religion thing… well, you never really got to that. But rest assured that had you gotten to it, I would not have made fun of it even if I disagreed with it, making fun of someones sysetem of beliefs is wrong.

Orginal comments:

Nickname: Cube
Re: Challenge Answered!

Religion is a favorite topic of mine and I am glad to see that we can all share the love, and poke and prod just a little bit more out of one anothers beliefs. Perhaps when more details of religions are brought up we will have something more then inconsequential ramblings to go off of.

Now then Ravenpaine onto the exciting topic of your new religious choice. What should I call you now that you have accepted the will “Something to be filled in later”. I hope it brings you all the hope and happiness you deserve.

-Cube Out

Nickname: Asmodeus
Re: Challenge Answered!
yes of course I am Lazy with the grammar. Dont worry I dont get my spells wrong ever if I did the results dont matter anyway, I have one thing over her that your caster does not have and that is her hair! Booya! Ask her what she gave to Neal and I stole along with other things I took to aid me, i could not bring myself to do it before, but now I did it, bind her if you wish the devil is not willing to divide his kingdom.

Have him cast his spells try and bind me, go ahead have fun getting the void to destroy its destroyer, as for me I think I will target her family instead that will be more physical and a lot less risky on my part cause i will have the Jester do that one for me.

As for your religion though, no i am not going to make fun of it I guess I am ok with what you believe, hell practice the work you do on me maybe you can kill them, I doubt it though. you have no idea what I am talking about do you?

Yes try and Kill them i would not mind you doing it at least than I could die finaly in peace, but unfortunately it wont work. I have a really good healer on my side and not even he can get rid of them.

Even making fun of me dont affect me, guess my heart is that dead. By the way you assumed what she said about you was bad, kind of hit a nerve there huh? She did tell me about you back in the day, you knew Neal than? Pedophile that one. I actualy told her to leave you and than she took it out on me, you probably do not know what it was about, you made her walk or some shit and she was angry and was talking to me and saying some shit like you dont pay attention to her or something and I said if you dont like it than leave him.

Than of course I got blamed for it, i did not say it because I hated you or anything I just tell people if it pisses you of than make a mark she was angry and thinking of leaving you I said well than leave him God! Your assuming I am talking shit, I just said I heard of you, I know who you are, get it? You probably should have denied it I would have I would have been that was another rodney.

You are sort of right, my body dies even now I die slowly, that is why you can not harm me in anyway i slowley break myself down in the end it is worth it though I become God instead of worshipping it. So like I said I wont make fun of yours, all I want is my heart back and I will destroy everything I had to do with her at all it will be wiped clean i can do that easy the hellish devils that swarm inside are powerfull indeed and can make it happen, but I leave her with child, not of physical but of spiritual and than she can be on her merry way, unless of course she again touches me but that is her fault not mine.

Well got to go, I guess i am tired and need my rest twas a long night last night.

Nickname: Asmodeus
Here you go for you
This is you guy I hope it is not low, but it is proof kind of private i dont know if I should give this to you, this is not my religion thing this is you, and her bitching about you and than she yells at me and shit, see what i go through people.

Plus Rodney you will just sit there and call me a liar like she does I dont just make shit up, I tell it like it is trust me and it is not, why do people think I am feeding them bull, cause I am not I am serious.

Just tell her to contact me and give back what is mine that is all I truely ask, remember for your sake I would not cast anything on me trust me I am not shitting you I am serious they will attach to you and your fate becomes mine. here you go brother. I give you all of it what I wrote her about and what she wrote me, I leave all of it cause I am getting rid of this email address now that she is gone I dont need it anymore.

Message has been replied to in the past.

Date: Mon, 12 May 2003 16:15:17 +0000
From: soft_ delusions
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Subject: RE: MAGUS!!!!


How’s it going? I’m at work right now, on a break. I’m tired as hell because I only got four hours of sleep last night. I don’t really have anything interresting to say. Since we talked for so long on Saturday I probably told you everything that is new in my life. Right now I”m sort of irritated about friends. My boyfriend is an idiot even if he is also very intelligent. He is selfish and I shouldn’t care because I dont love the guy, and don’t want to love the guy, but still it is irritating that he sends me out to walk home by myself at one in the morning. Idiot. Anyway, I better go, talk to you later,

farewell and goodnight,
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>Subject: RE: MAGUS!!!!
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>Hey Kellers;
>I have missed you too, to me you were the love of my life, I thought there for a while I might connect with you, despite I am insane but very very inteligent insane, more like Dr. Lectar, and for a moment I thought maybe we did connect. But that is not the way it went and I was sad that you left. Yes I was in nevada for a while doing business but I decided to come back for a girl however it did not go as planned and I should kick myself in the head repeatedly over and over again. You will always be my kellers though you seem different to me. You can call me too if you want even though it might be long distance I am back in utah for a time its 801-776-4572 I will try to call you too maybe!!!!! That is a big Maybe!!!! you will always be my Kellers but things will never change between me and Neal and now my darkness grows even stronger and my grasp on people is tighter, I am Grand Magus White raven now and if you saw me I have changed in looks things grow on my body not h
> uman all manifests and pain is me.
>But I do hope one day my curse can finaly be lifted I cry out to the world let me die in peace that is all I ask. I got to let you go I might just call ok well see you later bye.
>For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul.Matthew 16:26

Sorry rodney but I had to you understand I cant just talk shit I have to prove it that is all.

Nickname: ravenpaine
Re: Challenge Answered!
I’m going to just take a moment here, Jason, and say that I have no idea what any of the above was supposed to mean…

The part of all of this that you seem to be missing is that to communicate through words you have to acknowledge certain rules. Fine, you can take or leave the ideals and concepts and rules of grammar behind, and, true, grammar does change constantly…ish, but to communicate with others you must sometimes step down from your fight for principle and get in there and beat people at their own game.

What I am trying to convey to you is the sense of bewilderment that I have at what you are doing. I don’t really know what you are trying to accomplsih – here on the website or with Kellie – but mostly in being a person of some presumed intelligence who wishes for the world to change, hoeever radically, and also for people to follow along with whatever it is that you believe. You do not seem to be able to communicate any concept or idea and instead your words ring out, jumbled and twisted, into the cosmos and any who might hear your words and come to your rallying call are instead bewildered and occasionaly insulted.

Pull yourself together. Take a step back from the jargon and the fight for “meaning” and access if the way you are working isn’t more than counterproductive to your cause but out and out creating a fight with itself.

My hope here is that at some point you will be able to say what it is that you want to say and have people here it the way it was meant. Perhaps then people would be willing to take you seriously, care about you, stay in a room with you… whatever it may be you are actually after… But this ranting into the void of uninteligible drivel will not get you anywhere at all.

Each post I have made on this site, be it comment or atricle or story, contains some error that confuses my intention and upsets the people who read it. I pay for each of these mistakes in kind and leave them partially out of laziness and partially out of a sense of duty to myself, little reminders that I am fallible and sometime we all need to start from the beginning and learn to learn again.

I’m sorry that you feel the need to attack everything (and that is a gross overexageration but the best I could say) that has hurt or confused you in life. I’m sorry that you cannot make connections with the world as it is that make you want to defend it and change it for the better rahter than tearing it apart and trying again in violent revolution.

Anyway, this has gottena little long.

You look out for you this week, try not to let the harsher parts of the world get to you. I’ll talk to you again when you’re ready.

Rodney TGAP
an eye and an ear and sometimes a mouthy bastard

Nickname: Asmodeus
Re: Challenge Answered!
Your not such a bad guy after all, but of course I was not really attacking you anyway. I dont see what she did not like in you, probably the same thing she does not like in me, and that is we have a tendancy to mouth off.

Do you know what I hate more than anything though? I hate it when you tell me I am not what you want me to be and you dont even have the guts to look me in the face to tell me that. I think it is messed up that she can not accept me for who I am, and this is me. Oh sure if I was her play toy like any other guy I am sure it would be ok, however I am not and I feel if she does not like something I do to at least say it to my face. Even if she does I wont change that aspect of myself.

What got me on this site was in fact Ryan, of course his dumn ass stuck his nose where it does not belong, forgive me I know he is your friend and you have to take his side but he is exactly what got me to this point, as for people taking me seriously I really do not want them to. I get so pissed at kellie because she thinks that I have to respect her space and all that crap, I am not her boyfriend I do not have to respect anything on her, she has to earn that respect not demand it.

She has not earned that respect ever in my book, like most of you people all she wants to hear is the negative blame me for stuff and all that, tell her not to say no she does not cause I have every email she has ever sent me, I gave a crap about her that much.

There has been good stuff between us though not all of it bad, I miss her guitar, I think it is sad that she gave that up, i know you are all english Majors and all, but music is the heart and soul of man there is nothing as powerfull as music. The way I see you guys talk about the importance of english, but I think that stinks yes it is important but i think it is more important to have a good story, write like a baby if I can read it and its a good story I am not going to see the fault with it. I like to see the world you have created not the perfection of your writing, but of course that is me.

I just want her to face me really, of course I can never really give her up that is why we have talked so long as it is, at first we just would fight that is all we did I would fight with her but somehow it started to calm down and well we stopped fighting for a while, that is when you dated her rodney, but we went in without resolving anything and I know she holds a lot of stuff I did to her against me still and me with her.

I am calm now, you are a pretty smart person most people keep it going, I will fight to the bitter end, in fact it can get to the point where I am comming at you with a knife or hammer or something, I just learned to fight hard for what I have I guess, like I said before do anything really bad to her like rape, and i will come down there with a gun and toss grey matter all over the place. We fight but I am protective of her, its kind of weird only I am allowed to be mean to her anyone else will answer to me.

Hmm anyways I better go too long and I bet its hurting your eyes I am sure I mis-spelled something somewhere of course I am not going to check for it you will find I am not always a jerk, if you look past it then there are times where I am a jerk for the hell of it low blood sugar or something.

well until next time see ya.

Nickname: ravenpaine
Kindred Spirits
Some people might see this particular response as another decline of my failing mind and judgement, but I think I’m starting to see what is going on here.

Asmodeus, Jason, White Raven – whomever it may be that is reading this, I understand a bit of what it is to go by several names and have none of them fit so completely as you would like them to, but I digress – I see that you wish for something, that something in life has not been as it should and you will go to ANY length to change that.

Magic itself makes sense to me on some level, if you consider the world a computer program then magic is a set of cheat codes that you send to the operating system to move things about.

And who among us has not spent hours toiling at the last portion of a relationship gone bad? a friendship lost? a face-to-face encounter that seems so far away and so irretrievable as to be worthy of epic level sorrow?

I can understand that you want something here, that you wish to make a connection, or reconnection, with someone that was important to you in some way.

But again I would question the methods you are employing to achieve that goal. What good are the threats, the demands, the curses and the bile and the hatred. No one has ever retrieved something they cared about through such negative tactics. It simply isn’t done…

But, alas, I do not have another solution for you. If I did I would pass it along and wish you well.

Rodney TGAP
take care and be well, someone needs you somewhere